Summer of Bean

Most of you have been following me on Twitter.  I’ve got a new Twitter handle for all things Summer.  Please add @summerofbean to your Twitter list.  I’ll be updating the summer in real time there.

The frolf part of The Summer of Bean has been sort of a semi-joke, but not really.  George, I think, certainly saw the whimsy in it, but that was the allure.  I mean really, what in the hell is this sport and why do so many different people play it?

This is the second time I’ve lived literally walking distance from a frisbee golf course.  The first was during my year in Arizona when my apartment complex was along a greenbelt in south Scottsdale.  Part of the greenbelt was a golf course and part was set aside for Frolf.  There was a fantastic path through there that I would walk every night after work.  A few months after I moved there, it was discovered that Sammy the Bull Gravano was running a restaurant in the strip mall on the other side of the greenbelt from my apartment.  This is significant because at the time Sammy was in witness protection because he’d turned on Gotti.  Folks knew he was in Arizona, just not exactly where.  Turns out he was about 500 yards from my front door.  Weird.

Anyway, in addition to my walking route in downtown Portland, I also have two that I do up here in The Couv.  I refer to them as the easy walk and the hard walk.  The easy walk is through the relatively flat Lincoln neighborhood.  It takes about 45 minutes.  The hard walk goes east a mile or so, crosses I-5, and takes me into Leverich Park.  This one is mostly downhill for the first half as I go down to Burnt Bridge Creek.  As soon as you cross the creek, the walk seemingly goes straight up for a few hundred yards.  By the time I’m at the top, I’m wiped.

I usually do the hard walk only on weekends.  While I think the distance and time are similar for both, the climb on the hard walk usually does me in.  Sure, it’s a testament to how out of shape I am, but whatever.  I’m pooped.

Tonight I decided to do both walks back-to-back.  I did the hard walk first.  As I walked through Leverich Park, I couldn’t help but notice all the new signage and the lines painted in different spots.  Turns out those were Frolf tee boxes.  You stand behind the line as you throw your frisbee, or whatever it is you do.  It was kind of cool to see all the folks out there tonight playing.  And they were all pretty serious.  Not serious as-in frowning, but serious with their equipment.  There were different discs for different shots and guys running around with special Frolf bags.  Like I said…serious.

The goal this summer is to go play a round of Frolf at Leverich Park, but I have no idea how to start.  Perhaps here.  Or maybe REI.  Who knows.  I will find out though.

Frolf.  It wouldn’t be the Summer of Ben without it.

The iPhone experience to this point has been quite fantastic,  must say.  I’ll try not to be one of those gushing fan-boys and tell you you’re missing out (one douche on Twitter told me my world would go from black-and-white to color), but you’re really missing out.  If you have a hobby, and hobby, there’s an application on the phone that you should probably have.  My hobby right now is trying to get my health in order.  And for that, the iPhone is fantastic.

Lance Armstrong’s Livestrong website has a whole section dedicated to weight loss.  For $2.99, they sell an app which links up to the site and allows you to input your daily food intake and exercise.  It also graphs your weight loss.  I like that particular feature because it makes such steep-looking lines to celebrate my 2-pound weekly loss.

There’s also a great app called RunKeeper which uses the iPhone’s GPS feature to track the distance and pace of your run walk waddle.  I turn it on, hit the tunes, and I’m out the door.  It did a great job today while I walked the Esplanade downtown after work.  And, bonus, it said I shaved like 2-minutes off my time since the last time I did the walk.  So that’s cool too.

Sidebar: The scenery wasn’t all that great after work today.  Why was that?  Is it because the girls prefer to run in Spring and not Summer?  Was 78-degrees just too warm?  I don’t get it.  Perhaps a one-day sample wasn’t enough (I’ll admit I’ve been slacking on the post-work Esplanade thing…the blister on the sole of my left foot can attest to that).

My trip to Redding and Ashland ten days ago along with a piece on NPR this past weekend about hiking the Appalachian Trail has whetted my appetite for hiking.  Nothing too strenuous.  Perhaps a walk to the top of Multnomah Falls.  Or any number of other cool hikes here locally.  But it’s going to require a good pair of boots and a hat.

Say Anything showed on cable twice last night.  The one time I skipped school it was to go see a matinee showing of this movie.  I watched it dozens of more times through college, but hadn’t seen it in probably a decade.

Until recently, movies have never been intended for repeat viewings and the scrutiny they invite.  For example, it’s well known that Jeremy Piven was in several early Cusack films.  Watching those films now, it’s funny to see the guy who would become Ari Gold regress into the “give me my keys!” guy.  It’s just as awkward to see Piven in One Crazy Summer or Grosse Pointe Blank.

I think my entire high school class saw themselves in Say Anything and to be honest, we still do.  Watching it twenty years later, we think back to that same time in our lives.  The decisions we made at the time that we thought were so momentous, but in hindsight weren’t.  I probably shouldn’t, but watching the movie now, I think back to things I might have done differently.  Girls I might have asked out.  Friends I might have made.  Meh.

Back to the repeated viewing thing.  After watching the movie back in April, I came up with a few observations I emailed to a friend of mine.  Watching it again last night, I still have questions.

So Diane goes into her dad’s office, pries open the chest on top of the desk. The chest was stacked three across and I’m guessing somewhere between 8 and 10 deep with bundles of hundred dollar bills. This means the chest had somewhere between $250k and $300k. Maybe more? There had to be another stack somewhere. But let’s say for argument it was $300k.

The deal the dad struck with the government was 9 months and $150k. This leaves at least $150k in cash lying around plus whatever he had in his pirate chest in the backyard.

What does he do with the money? Does Diane take it when offered? Or does she just stay in Europe and live the life of an art history major? That’s what I want to know.

Lloyd actually did better than all of them. He had a buddy who got him into Amazon in about 1997 or so. It was a perfect slacker gig. He’s now in charge of some music category and pulling down six figures. He’s set. Wife, maybe couple of kids. Probably has a house in the old neighborhood.

But what became of Diane? And, more importantly, what became of the money?

These are questions I have.  Any guesses?

Just when I think the summer is slipping through my fingers too quickly, I get a reminder that were truly just beginning.  As in summer just officially started Saturday night.  At 10:45 pm Saturday, as the sun crossed the equator on its way to the Tropic of Cancer, I was standing on the Sundial Bridge in Redding CA, enjoying a Double-Double.  The In-N-Out Burger is like Krispy Kreme, only good.

Sidebar: Safeway makes a donut which is superior to either Krispy Kreme or Voodoo, and they do it for 40% less.  Of course those are fighting words to many, but it’s true.

So I’ve been fretting about letting my Summer of Bean slip away, just as George let his summer slip away.  But taking a step back, things are right on schedule.

I’ve been looking forward to the trip to Redding for sometime.  I decided early on to rent a Mustang for the drive.  Not that I didn’t think my Civic was up to the task, it’s just that I wanted to make the drive in style and comfort.  The Mustang is the perfect vehicle for that.  Don’t ask me any specifics on the vehicle itself.  I couldn’t tell you whether it had a 6 or 8-cylinder engine or what size it was.  I can report that it can reach highway speeds of 90 mph and contrary to some reports, it corners just fine.  Just not at 90.  It does have pretty significant blind spots over each shoulder, but as I told my friend I’m not too worried about what’s behind me.

The Mustang also got pretty good gas mileage.  At least 26 mpg was better than I expected.  So there’s that.

I was in Redding to help a college friend and his bride celebrate their wedding.  They actually eloped last October in Hawaii (eloping is the ONLY way to go, particularly if you’re over 30…so much less drama) and decided to throw a party for friends and relatives.  As “best man” I got to give a toast to the bride and groom in which I celebrated the fact we don’t get many second-chances in life, and they’re both taking full advantage of theirs’.  A pretty cool time all around.

After a very relaxing day off from the office, it’s back to work tomorrow and a dead sprint for the next three weeks.  By then the Summer of Bean will be in full bloom and we’ll all be able to enjoy its beauty.

After the UFC fight Saturday afternoon, my friend and I ran some errands. Our first stop was at the AT&T store In Hillsboro. I wanted to upgrade her Blackberry’s OS to the newest. The girl gave us the directions and sent us on our way.

Well, almost.

I was almost out the door when she said $99 iPhone. And I couldn’t resist. Now, as my friend put it, I’m “that guy.” I make no apologies.

“That guy” found the Wordpress app tonight. This post was created on the iPhone. Don’t know how often I’ll do this, but I can. And isn’t that the point?

I don’t remember my dreams very often and when I do, I rarely write them down or ponder them.  I had one this morning which seems pregnant with meaning, but what?

Dig:

I’m at the casino and sit down at the slot machine.  On my first pull I win $1,000.  I turn to my friend (Pete?) and at once celebrate my good fortune and chastise myself for not having risked more more.  Had I risked my entire $25 investment in the machine on that first pull, I would have won $25,000.

I immediately cashed out of the machine and took my winning ticket to the cashier.  I asked for 9 $100 bills and and 5 $20s.

Everything is fine up until here, right?  Well get this.  The cashier counts back my money, which I pocket, and then hands me a remaindered copy of a Vonnegut book.  Don’t ask me the title, I don’t know.  The book is a cheap paperback with no spine, just the pages.  The cashier apologizes for the condition of the book and says the first eight chapters are all in order, but the last one is pretty jumbled up.

I look, and he’s right.  The pages of the last chapter are all out of order.  As I tried to put them back together, I woke up.

So what do we have here?  We’ve got found money.  We’ve got a tinge of regret for not having risked more in order to get a bigger reward.  And we have a book which is in bad but readable condition except for the last chapter.  What the heck?

How long have I been at this now?  A couple of weeks?  I already feel like I’m getting behind.  The book thing, for example.  Like George, I’m not a reader at all.  It’s been a little bit of a struggle.  And to add to my troubles, it turns out there are like 9 holds on my book back at the library!  Everyone is reading this book, it turns out.  So I went down to Barnes and Noble and picked up a copy last week.  Just after I did that, the library sent me notice that another copy of the book had come in and was on reserve for me.

Sidebar:  If you didn’t already know this, the Lake Oswego library is the best thing going in the area.  I make the drive almost every weekend on my way to or from Fry’s.  Here’s how fantastic the Lake O library is.  You’re familiar with the hold system various libraries use, right?  You put your name on the list and when you get to the top, they put the item on hold for you and when you’re done it goes to the next person.  Well, at the Lake O library, you get to skip to the head of the line on any item that belongs to the Lake O library.  So say someone in Estacada is waiting for my book a month ahead of me.  If it’s a Lake Oswego book, it comes to me first.  So I managed to jump like 8 people to get the book.  So now I have 2 copies.  This is a whole other problem.

Oh…the name of the book?  You’re gonna have to wait a few days.

The Pie Champ thing was something that sort of came out of left field.  I thought I could win it, but when five other guys showed up on Saturday, I wasn’t that sure.  It blew right through my 1500 calorie plan, which also wasn’t a good thing.  On the plus side, I’ve made some new friends and the folks at Whiffies got some great publicity out of it.  So that’s all good, right?

To get back on track with the 1500 calorie project, I’ve joined the Lance Armstrong Daily Plate site.  They’re got a fantastic tool for both the iPhone and the Blackberry, so I can track my intake and my exercise both at work and on the go.  It’s pretty sweet.  But like anything weight loss related, it’s not so much about Day One.  It’s about Day One Hundred.

I also need to talk more about the movies and TV shows I’ve been watching.  I want to go see The Hangover at some point.  And my Comcast DVR is backing up with movies I’m embarrassed to admit I’ve never seen.  However this conflicts with my new “if you’re awake you should either be working, exercising, or writing” thing.  So we’ll see how that works out.

Of all the things I have planned for the summer, I think the most daunting and potentially the most rewarding will be the three minutes of stand-up.  I’ve been trying to pay a little more attention to others’ routines the last few weeks to figure out what I like and what I don’t.  I’ve also begun to really appreciate what it is these guys do.  Particularly the national guys.  Anytime they commit something to TV, they almost have to completely scrap it from their live set.  It’s all been done, right?  So now they have to throw out their existing 45-minute set and start a new one from scratch.  Tough stuff.  White’s been doing his thing now for over two decades, but I guarantee he still sweats his act.  Daily.

After the thing at Harvey’s back in March or April, I was kind of turned off on the whole stand-up thing.  They threw three actual comedians up on stage and one amateur.  The”real” comedians weren’t really for me, but they certainly got laughs.  The sets were filled with gay jokes, Sam Adams jokes, “Gresham” jokes, and jokes about life on the road.  Spare me.

But get this, when I announced my intention to do the three minute thing in front of a couple of friends and co-workers, they asked me to do my routine on the spot.  It didn’t matter that I didn’t have a routine, they wanted jokes.  Blah.  So I told them a little about what I’d observed about the craft of joke telling and I told them about how I didn’t want to tell gay jokes, Sam Adams jokes, “Gresham” jokes, or life on the road jokes.

Sidebar: By now you’re no doubt wondering what a Gresham joke is.  A Gresham joke is any joke poking fun at a particular part of town and its inhabitants.  This is whacky FM DJ stuff.  It’s sandbox humor for folks who never leave the county.  That said, I think the same sort of people who love to see their hometown in the movies or on TV enjoy hearing Gresham jokes.  It somehow makes the experience more relatable.  A Gresham joke is a solid go-to for any comedian, not unlike a Buddy Holly cover for a bar band.  It’s a solid basic that’ll play anywhere.

Anyway, I went on to talk about the night of comedy I’d seen and told one of the jokes I’d heard.  When I hit the punchline, milk literally shot out of one of my friends’ noses.  It was that funny.  Only it wasn’t.  At least not to me.  But there’s a lesson here.  Gresham jokes work.  The audience loves them, so you should probably tell them.

Why am I telling you all this?  Because Friday night I went into North Portland to check out the comedy stylings of the Curious Comedy Theater.  It’s kind of weird how this whole thing came about.  A friend of mine asked me to go check them out a few weeks ago.  A friend of hers’ is performing there and she wanted to go check him out.  Both of us got busy and weren’t able to make it.  Then this week, I found a coupon in the Willamette Week and decided to go check them out.

They’ve got a very nice, very clubby, very warm space up on MLK in the Vanport Square.  I paid my admission, bought a beer, and took a table down front, stage left.  The group came out a little after 8 and introduced themselves.  They also introduced a special guest they had for the evening.  ’Twas local comedian Gabe Dinger.  Gabe was the emcee the night I was at Harvey’s.  I cringed and waited for the Gresham jokes to flow.

Only they never came.  Gabe was quick, smart, and funny.  It was almost like he was playing a jazz club instead of a rock-and-roll dive.

Gabe’s role in the first bit of long form was as narrator for an Armando.  And he was quite good, riffing off a very weak audience suggestion with a good story about Halloween at a religious school.  The troupe then took it from there, creating several clever scenes.  None of them were garden variety, and none went for the lowest common denominator.  Yet they weren’t so out there that they left the audience scratching their heads either.  They’re a solid group and I’m looking forward to coming back.

There are a couple of places around town, including Curious Comedy, who offer improv and stand-up classes.  I’m kind of resistant to the idea, preferring to do it myself.  Like most things though, I probably can’t.  And the point of the whole thing isn’t really to “learn” anyway.  It’s about collaberation and networking, learning is a by-product.  So we’ll see what happens.

I guess I can cross this off the list.

Seriously though, thanks to everyone who came out last night.  It was a blast.

May I never have to defend my crown.